he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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