I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
