well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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