Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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