I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
