There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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