Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
