sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
