garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
