***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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