dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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