no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
