We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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