I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
