listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
