either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
