i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
