I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
