What did we do last night that was yellow?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
