what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
