I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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