We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
