hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize