i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
