I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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