just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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