i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
