You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
