sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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