They should really pass out barf bags in church
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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