There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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