Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
