what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
