I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
