if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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