Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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