the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
