He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
BRING THE BAGELS
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
