Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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