We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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