You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I would fuck him just for his dog
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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