Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
