he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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