I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
