Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
