But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
