Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
