I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
now i know why i became what i already was.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
