In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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