Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize