Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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