So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
