we should wear snuggies to the strip club
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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