I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
