he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
