all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
