1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
